I wanna bring you to show and tell
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
