a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
