I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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