Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
