Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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