That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
