she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
