don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
