I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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