How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you still have your period?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
