I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
