Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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