i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize