So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
