I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
