i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
