I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I did not marry a roomba.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
