Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
