After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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