how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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