So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
