Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize