gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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