He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
