Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
