I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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