I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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