yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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