Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
