I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
