But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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