Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
