I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
