Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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