he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
