Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize