That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
