I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
