I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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