after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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