4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
