Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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