your thong is hanging out like whoa
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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