trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
