I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
