I'm going to jail i love you
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
