I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Randomize
