i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
