I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The Olympian is in my bed
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
