i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
