its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize