I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
