i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
