i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
