to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
