well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
