I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
