I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
