so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
