She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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