I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
