Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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