Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My balls are so social today.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
