ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
are you so shy because you have an std?
even my farts smell like vagina
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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