walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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