He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
