Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
