i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
