i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Why can't burritos get me drunk
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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