Porn is love you can see.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
