do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
