I'm eating all of the evidence.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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